Seeing what you can not see comes when you surrender.
Yesterday I gave myself a rare day off. Tuesdays and Thursdays are my full workdays. That means eight full hours without interruption of a school pick-up. I have been going strong for a while now. I haven’t really luxuriated in a day for myself for quite some time. Yesterday was that day!
The opportunity to slow down is always there but even though we are in the middle of a pandemic and I consider myself spiritually educated, I noticed that I haven’t REALLY slowed down. This last month, in fact, things started to speed up. I can pinpoint it back to the election. I wandered down the news path and from there an addiction began.
For something like 20 years, I stopped watching the news. I lived in a political town (haha - town) for 7 years. The administration that was in place wasn’t my cup of tea. I persevered through 9-11, the DC Sniper attacks, weapons of mass destruction, Double agent spies on trial a half a block away, and well, you get the picture. The whole time, just letting it all be what it was and abstaining from local (national) news. It was the one thing that I felt saved my grace. Especially when there were times, I felt like I was in a sci-fi movie or a spy thriller.
Speed up to now - 2020. Watching the news for the election results brought back something that laid dormant. Is that a bad thing? Not necessarily. But I also noticed there was a beast awake and it craved more. And so, in that sense, it was a bad thing for me. The News of today is not the thing I grew up with, in the 80s. With news anchormen like Tom Brokaw from NBC News. It does inform but with a filter. And because I want to expand my perceptions beyond what is “told to me” on syndicated news, it does not align with me. Also because I feel there is a manipulation of the Truth always present.
I realized the deception of the News a long time ago when I lived in Paris, France. It was a simple story on this side of the Atlantic Ocean but later I would find out it was a HUGE deal back home in the US. The story was about a girl’s shoelace during an ice-skating championship. Otherwise known as 1994’s Winter Olympics in Lillehammer, France. The girl, Tonya Harding. There was a small mention on the French news, Canal Plus, about the clubbing of Nancy Kerrigan that Harding was suspected of being the perpetrator. Naturally, I and my fellow American students felt let down by the coverage. At that moment, I realized all news is catered for a specific audience and not the whole story is always told. This awareness would only enlarge over the years.
This is not always easy to spot. I have been duped to believe things on the News that I thought was solid information. And that is not to say all News is bad. I think what I noticed this past month is the addiction to the drama. That enticement of the cliffhanger. What will the results be? This is a hook that is irresistible. But it can make you lost in it too. What keeps me there?
Now that I’ve decided to slow down for the month of December, I see what I could not see. This is the beautiful gift of surrender and letting go. I have stopped the News addiction a few weeks ago. I am reflecting on what that energy did to me and how I can become more aware of its takeover. Yes, it was a takeover. I was getting really riled up! And don’t get me wrong, I think it is okay to have a healthy curiosity about world events. This was different. And it is important to notice. I became a devout participant of this particular segment of the News. Which means I handed over myself to this other entity and forgot to think for myself. Why? Because I was hooked.
This is a dangerous place to be in. It does take some time to be aware of it and change it. This is why the gift of surrender and slowing down will always be awareness. As an Empath, getting hooked to something that I know is not the Truth nor in alignment with me is a slippery slope. It takes me for a wild ride, sure, but it doesn’t keep me anchored into my own values and purpose. If we can see it as entertainment, then perhaps it has no consequence. Unfortunately, this is not how the 24-hour News cycle is designed. It is meant to keep you coming back for more. I once heard it said,
“What you consume, consumes you.”
It’s a mantra lately that has been spinning in my head. And now, I understand it’s meaning.
